Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

There's no international protocol on what to do if an asteroid strikes Earth - theregister.com

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Jules Verne Was Right! Scientists Discovered a Vast Ocean Within Earth’s Core, Questioning Our Very Understanding of the Universe - The Daily Galaxy

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can read

What are the symptoms of Sjogren’s?

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

J.M. Smucker Earnings: SJM Stock Slumps on Disappointing Fiscal 2026 Outlook - Barron's

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why is money considered to be the root of all evil?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

The Complete Guide To What The Actual Hell Is Going On In Death Stranding - Kotaku

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Supreme Court for now allows Trump to deport migrants to ‘third countries’ - The Washington Post

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Raleigh passes Bench for most HRs by catcher before All-Star break -- in 14 fewer games! - MLB.com

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Have you ever been instructed/forced to crossdress for the benefit of others?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Brad Pitt and Ines de Ramon go shopping in Tokyo after actor’s $5.5M LA home was ‘ransacked’ by burglars - Page Six

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

How an unnoticed pregnancy complication almost ended a young Staten Island mom’s life - SILive.com

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

The Best Tech Gifts for Father’s Day 2025 - Gizmodo

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

An Extreme Drop in Oxygen Will Eventually Suffocate Most Life on Earth - ScienceAlert

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?